Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Why Prioritizing Yourself Is Essential for Helping Pet Parents and Dogs.

from the desk of Michael Overlie, I.C.P. Instructor, accompanied by his Belgium Shepherd

Introduction

In a world that glorifies productivity, it’s easy to see self-care as a luxury, something only

reserved for moments when everything else has been taken care of. Yet, the truth is, self-care

isn’t selfish. It’s foundational. If you’re someone who constantly gives—whether to animals,

family, friends, or even your career—learning to prioritize yourself might feel counterintuitive.

But imagine how much more you could give if you weren’t running on empty. By taking the time

to care for ourselves, we actually gain more energy, compassion, and resilience to share with

others.

The Caregiver Dilemma

For those of us drawn to caring professions—whether you’re a paramedic, a teacher, an animal

advocate, or a parent—the desire to help others is a driving force. But there’s a silent struggle

many caregivers face: the nagging feeling of burnout, emotional fatigue, and even resentment. In

my work with caregivers, I see this common pattern: compassion fatigue sneaks in when self-

care isn’t a priority. Over time, this lack of balance can erode not only our effectiveness but our

well-being.

Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish

One of the most common fears around self-care is the idea that it’s somehow “selfish.” Yet, when

we neglect our own needs, we gradually drain ourselves, compromising our ability to support

those who rely on us. Self-care, at its core, is about filling our cup so that we can continue to

pour into others. It’s like putting on your own oxygen mask first in an emergency—only then are

you truly equipped to help others effectively.

Dogs as Our Self-Care Partners

Dogs model self-care better than we might think. They eat when they’re hungry, sleep when

they’re tired, and play with joyful abandon. They don’t overthink it. Dogs remind us that it’s

okay to take breaks, to listen to our bodies, and to find joy in simple moments. When we connect

with our dogs, we’re often reminded of how easy self-care can be. Taking a few minutes to walk

outside with your dog, for example, can help you reconnect with yourself while also providing a

natural mental break.

Practical Self-Care Tips

Here are a few ways to make self-care a consistent part of your life:

1. Mindful Breathing: Start your day with a few minutes of deep breathing, allowing

yourself to center and reconnect with your intentions.

2. Nature Breaks with Your Dog: Take short nature breaks with your dog. Use these

moments not just to exercise them, but to enjoy fresh air, sunshine, and the chance to

reset.

3. Reflective Journaling: Try asking yourself, “What am I giving today, and what am I

receiving?” This helps identify areas where you might be overextending and reminds you

to make room for replenishment.

Conclusion

Self-care is the foundation of a life that allows us to support others meaningfully. By honoring

our needs, we build a foundation of resilience, patience, and compassion that enhances all our

relationships. Next time you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, remember: a well-cared-

for heart is capable of caring for others deeply and sustainably.

Behavioral Psychology vs Cognitive Psychology.

Behavioral psychology focuses on observable behaviors, commonly conditioned through stimuli in one’s surroundings. Because behavioral psychology focuses on conditioned behaviors, the methods used are conditioning methods. Behavioral psychologists seek to change the subject’s perception of the stimuli causing the behavior. There are two main types of conditioning methods: classical and operant. These methods rely on external reinforcements, used as either a reward or an associative element to teach, encourage, and/or discourage behaviors, depending on the behaviorists preferred method. Initially, behavioral psychologists did not recognize the impact of genetics, internal processes, or emotions. Although it is becoming more common for canine behaviorists to acknowledge cognition and recognize the impact of emotions on behavior, they are limited in their ability to work in this capacity while restricting themselves to conditioning methods. Cognitive psychology emerged as a response to the limitations of conditioning methods.

Cognitive psychology studies the mind, mental states, and how the brain processes emotions, and individual personalities. Cognitive psychologists recognize the impact of cognitive functions, such as memory, problem-solving, lateral thinking, reasoning, and brain development on behavior. The subject’s perception, not only of the immediate stimuli in one’s surroundings, but of many factors and elements, determines thought patterns. Cognitive psychology disrupts unwanted thought patterns without necessarily changing perception (or feelings towards) the stimuli.

To safely, easily, and effectively bring dogs into new environments, address trauma related emotions and behaviors, prevent common behavioral issues, and create a bond that respects autonomy, we need to focus on the underlying cognition and emotions driving behavior, not on the behavior itself.

Conditioning Methods vs Psychotherapeutic Methods (CBT)

How does one determine if a method is psychotherapeutic or conditioning? I will use Operant Conditioning, Counter Conditioning, and CBT as comparisons.

In brief, Operant Conditioning is a conditioning method; Counter Conditioning is a conditioning method that is considered a psychotherapeutic method because it recognizes emotions driving behaviors; CBT is a psychotherapeutic method.

NOTE: The following information is not intended to teach methods, or to compare the validity of methods. It is intended to encourage you to determine if techniques and approaches in mainstream dog training fall under the conditioning or psychotherapeutic realm, from a psychology perspective.

The headings (Bold and Italics) represent factors, or elements, that can help to determine if the method is Conditioning or Psychotherapeutic.

Reinforcements: A reinforcement is a tool (tangible or intangible) applied reactively to support and encourage an act, behavior, or thought pattern. Conditioning methods relies on a reinforcement to achieve a goal. This reinforcement could be in the form of a treat, praise, toy, pat, click, verbal word (ie – “yes”). Although, reinforcement implies reactive in nature, the reinforcement can morph into a proactive tool to encourage a behavior (ie – hold up a treat and the dog automatically “Sits”). Depending on the stage in the program with CBT, a reinforcer, in the form of cognitive exercises may be applied proactively during challenging situations and can act as an intrinsic reward.

Rewards: Rewards are a form, or type, of reinforcement. With Conditioning methods, commonly rewards are the same as the reinforcement, although they can vary depending on the situation, dog, trainer, etc. They can also include intangible rewards, such as getting out of the vehicle, which is followed by a reward such as a treat, which is required because the reward is the transferable element to other situations. With CBT the rewards are “inherent”. They naturally exist in the day-to-day life of the dog. They offer opportunities to apply cognitive exercises that practice resetting the brain. The reward is determined by the dog, and is, therefore, proactive in nature. The human recognizes these opportunities to apply exercises that hone cognitive skills. For example, getting out of the vehicle is decided by the dog, and provides an opportunity to strengthen cognitive exercises. There is no need to provide an additional reward.

Transferable Element: All methods require a transferable element. If the reward acts as the transferable element to different areas or situations, it is a Conditioning method. With Operant Conditioning, it is transferred forward and applied to teach and encourage expected behavior. With Counter Conditioning it acts as the reinforcer, in the form of an associative element, allowing the dog to connect a positive with a “negative” stimulus to change perception of the stimuli. With CBT, the transferable element is the dog’s ability to reset, process, and decision make. At this stage, reinforcers (in the form of exercises) are either applied proactively, or are not longer required. If they cannot be applied proactively, we abort plan and return to strengthening the exercises.

Proactive vs Reactive Approaches: Conditioning methods use reinforcements which are reactive in nature. As discussed, if the method uses reactive reinforcements, it is Conditioning. Conditioning trainers commonly can answer the question, “What do I do when my dog does X behavior?” Conditioning methods apply rewards in a reactive nature. The reward can be shown to the dog proactively to encourage listening or focus (reinforcement), and then given as a reward after the behavior is shown. CBT is proactive in nature, meaning it is designed to prevent thought patterns that lead to unwanted behaviors. This is not done by suppressing the emotions, but, rather, through skills that allow the subject to change their perception (not necessarily of the stimulus, but of their need to panic), to self-regulate, and/or make better decisions. CBT does not provide solutions to correct behavior, but, rather, aims to prevent the behavior.

Repetitive Element: All methods require a repetitive element. With Conditioning methods, it is recommended to repeatedly give the reinforcement or reward at comfortable times to solidify it as a positive element before transferring forward to more challenging situations. Counter Conditioning uses the associative element while repeatedly introducing the negative stimulus, a technique known as “desensitization”. In this case, the repetitive elements are the reinforcement and the stimulus. With CBT, the repetitive element is the brain resetting, processing, and making decisions. This action may be self-induced by the dog, or, if required, the exercises may be applied proactively.

Stimuli: It is common for behaviors to be triggered by a stimulus, such as a bicycle, new area, time of day, noise, scent, movement etc. With Conditioning methods, the stimulus must be present to either reward wanted behavior, distract from the stimulus, or encourage wanted behavior. With Counter Conditioning, the stimulus must be present to associate the positive element with the negative stimulus. Counter Conditioning uses desensitization techniques, thus, again, requiring the stimulus to be present. NOTE: I am not implying that flooding is occurring. There are measures and protocols that allow for a stimulus to be present without causing fear or anxiety. The point I am making is that for the technique to be applied, the stimulus must be present. CBT works 90% (if not more) in situations where the stimulus is not present. The cognitive exercises, which practice resetting the brain, are established, practiced, repeated, and applied without the need for the stimulus to be present.

Intent and Purpose: Conditioning methods are designed to 1) teach 2) encourage/discourage behaviors or thought patterns 3) change perception of stimuli . CBT is intended to change the perceived need to 1) feel an emotion 2) do a behavior to achieve a goal 3) manage/change situations 4) follow a habit or routine.

There is no one “right method.” It is important to know the difference between methods to ensure the best method for each individual dog at the stage they are at is available to the dog through a professional certified in the method they are teaching.

To learn more, visit our sister Podcast: Dog Training DisrUPted

Re-Thinking “Breedist”

The term "Breedist" is, often, automatically seen in a negative light. And rightly so! Many of you are well aware of the inhumane acts stemming from "breed legislation" or simply being shunned upon because of the breed of your dog.

But, what if the opposite happens? What if our expectations of certain breeds set unrealistic expectations? For example, Golden Retrievers love all our family and friends (and even those we do not like!), Border Collies keep us fit and healthy with their love of exercise, German Shepherds keep us safe as they protect the family, and Labradors help us through challenging times with their innate emotional connectivity.

These are all great traits, rights? Yes! So, should we care? Yes! As with humans, we do not all fit into a mold. They did not read the book that some human wrote about their breed. Maybe they simply would not agree if given the opportunity to edit the material.

ICP student, Mais St. Thomas, is well versed in Wolf Hybrids and is a certified trainer. Her three dogs all have their own personalities, each bringing joy and challenges. Naturally, they all exhibit some traits common to the breed, but in different ways.

Taking common breed characteristics into account can help us understand their emotions, cognitive skills, expectations, and perception. These factors are also affected by age, upbringing, personality, formed habits, and learned behaviors.

Breed is simply one factor, of many, that creates the entire being of the individual. Common characteristics should not be viewed as "good and positive" or "bad and negative," but rather as factors that can aid in our ability to work with each dog on an individual basis to address behaviors stemming from emotions and cognition.

Canine Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CCBT) is an evidence-based method which takes into account all these factors. Breed related traits, personalities, dispositions, and even behaviors are not deemed "bad or good." Recognizing individualism is not simply a mindset or using appropriate terminology. It requires a scientifically method designed to recognize autonomy, provide agency, harness cognition, induce processing, allow for decision-making (different from "choice") and inspire a relationship based on mutual understanding.

Mais is excelling in the Canine Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Diploma Program). "The CCBT program offers an entirely new approach to understanding dogs, with applicable strategies that has greatly improved my ability to work with my clients and expand my business."

Is the Need to be “Like-Minded” Killing Dogs?

By Billie Groom

In a recent "chinwag" with a colleague, we discussed common topics surrounding animal welfare, which was pleasant. Then I asked about her upcoming conference on canine behavior and welfare. She became visibly uncomfortable.

"Well, there will be a lot of positive reinforcement trainers there, so you may not be comfortable." I laughed (jerk reaction). I am well-seasoned being in these environments. She continued to explain that is a conference for "like-minded" professionals.

"So, is the goal of the conference to be a gathering of positive reinforcement trainers? Or a platform to expand education and encourage discussions?" I asked. She stumbled on the answer, finally deciding on "both."

I thought about this after our chat. What is "like-minded?" Is it possible to expand our knowledge while remaining in a comfort zone? Should "like-minded" be associated with the mutual goal of providing effective, non-aversive strategies to pet parents to overcome behaviors leading to surrender, euthanasia, and harmful measure, or in the specific strategy to achieve this?

Dog trainers are so often focused on ensuring that negative reinforcement is squashed (influenced by standard industry leaders) that they limit their own professional growth by closing their mind to other non-aversive, effective methods (which, inherently, aid in preventing the use of negative measures). Pet parents rely on these professionals to have the skills to meet their needs, or else they will "give-up" or look elsewhere (they do not hold an allegiance to a method or a community), leading to either harmful measures (exactly what the industry is trying to prevent) or discovering the world of psychotherapy!

So, I may not speak or attend the conference, but the question remains, "What is the goal of a "like-minded" community? It would be interesting to put forth the question to her community of like-minded trainers? Maybe.... just maybe, they will be brave enough to put the needs of their clients, and the lives of dogs, ahead of their comfort.

Join the community of advance-minded professionals. Empower yourself. Enhance your skills. Elevate your impact.